If I Become The Nigerian President For A Day

If I Become The Nigerian President For A Day

Oh! I guess I was economic with the truth when I said I would like to become a Nigerian president for a day. Twenty years maybe. As the madam president of the Federal Republic and commander in chief of the armed forces, I will drastically revamp the economy and security but first, I will dissolve every existing heads in the different arms of government which includes all elected members of the Senate, house of representatives including the Governors.

There will only be three political parties, every other party will be null and void and every party flag bearer must be a graduate. I will appoint a new chairman of the central bank of Nigeria likewise appoint new head of police and new head of EFCC. I’m considering my father as the Head of EFCC. Every law and Bill must pass through my desk. Every appointment by state governors must also pass through my desk.

I will foster a holistic approach to overly focus on the civil service but first, I will fire every head of every department in the civil service and personally appoint the heads of each service as the Commander in Chief of the Federal Republic. Every ghost worker in the service will be sacked indefinitely. I will sack all the government school principals and teachers and request that they reapply.

I will set up a panel in every state to see to that effect, the panel will also conduct the interviews and employ teachers. I will totally invalidate most schools which includes some private universities, state universities and some private and government owned secondary schools as they will be closed indefinitely especially unapproved ones. I will revamp the curriculum as I will work closely with my newly appointed Minister for Education to see that history and other Nigerian languages is a must in the school curriculum. I will so pump money in the educational sector.

I will reduce the salaries of members of the Senate and there would definitely be no allowances. All their bellies must reduce by force. They are called to service and not to feast. In my administration, no senator will earn more than the professors therefore professors will be the highest earners in my administration with allowances and other benefits. There will be no official cars. Only State Governors reserve the right to police convoy. Any minister, or office head seen with convoy will be sacked indefinitely.

I will privatise the refinaries, as for the oil and petroleum sector, i will be fully in charge as the commander in chief of the Federal Republic. I will Privatise NEPA. Every state must generate their own revenue and pay some token to a bank I will open. I will end the 1000 naira notes, the highest denomination will be 200 naira. Every graduate will receive a monthly allowance of 50,000 and I will scrap NYSC. I will make sure to subsidize the cost of fuel and there will be a fixed price. This country must be salvaged as it will go into stages of uncomfortable development to achieve my aim. I will close the boarder for three years. There would be no imports only exports will be authorized.

I will pump audacious money into the health system and the average Nigerian will be taken care of health wise. Payment before treatement will be abolished. Any hospital that insist on payment before treatement will be closed Indefinitely and the license of the medical personnel’s in charge of that hospital withdrawn. I will implement the various reforms which have been put forward by the Nigerian government to address the wide ranging issues in the health care system. Most importantly I will ensure that there is priority service for maternity health.

I will implement a domestic law in the Constitution which will state that in terms of divorce, the man would leave the house for the woman and every assets shared equally. Any man caught in the web of domestic violence will be beaten naked in the market square with Cutlass by the soldiers and any woman that is violent towards the husband will spend three nights in jail. I will enforce domestic laws. Punishment for crimes would be as follows:
Rape: Cut off the penis bit by bit.
Murder: Set him or her ablaze.
Armed Robbery: Cut off the neck
Embezzlement: Life imprisonment.
False witness/accusations: cut off the left ear.
Human trafficking: Cut off the right arm.
Slander against my administration: Remove the tongue.

I will build a dungeon for my personal prisoners. I will rule this country with iron fist but our aim will be achieved. When I finally retire from my administration, I will probably relocate to another continent.

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